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Across the globe, thousands of children and young people have been adversely impacted by Covid-19. And while the pandemic itself may have abated, its legacy lives on, continuing to affect them mentally, socially, emotionally and behaviourally.

According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, many children are experiencing high levels of psychological stress and anxiety but may not be equipped with the tools needed to regulate their feelings and behaviour. Links between chronic stress and poor self-regulation in children are well documented, and can lead to an increase in behaviours of concern.

As professionals, our role is to understand why children and young people might be struggling with self-regulation, and crucially, what we can do to support them.

What is self-regulation?
Self-regulation is best understood as the ability to understand and manage our own thoughts, feelings, behaviour and actions. This includes controlling our impulses, calming down when feeling heightened, and behaving in socially acceptable ways.

Being able to self-regulate allows us to make decisions that are in our best interests, solve complex problems, and modify our behaviour so that we can do things like learn new skills, interact with others, and build and maintain relationships.

Typically, self-regulation develops over time, beginning with engaging in co-regulatory behaviours with a stable, emotionally-available caregiver. When we, as adults, model how to regulate our own nervous system, we enable children and young people to successfully emulate and adopt these strategies themselves.

How do we know if someone is struggling to self-regulate?
Every child and young person is different, and what is typical for one, can look quite different for another. 
Individuals who cannot easily self-regulate may get caught up in negative thought patterns and spend a lot of time feeling anxious about past, present or future events. This can spill out into their behaviour.

Distressed behaviours can include an inability to focus; running away or shutting down; becoming withdrawn; feeling angry; feeling low or tearful; an inability to sleep; or showing increased sensory sensitivity.

How the pandemic has affected children and young people
Given its magnitude, severity and duration, the pandemic caused widespread fear and panic: families lost loved ones to illness; individuals spent extended periods in isolation; parents and carers were unable to go out to work; and multiple lockdowns fractured relationships, communities and vital support networks.

Impact on young children
Due to repeated lockdowns, many very young children missed out on crucial socialisation and developmental opportunities, such as attending nursery or kindergarten – settings where they would normally develop a wide range of communication and social skills alongside their peers, guided by adults.

A report published by Australia’s Centre for Community Child Health found that Covid-related public health measures and their impact on family dynamics significantly disrupted daily life for 0-5-year-olds.

Impact on older children
According to the Australian Human Rights Commission’s report, ‘Mental Health Shapes My Life: Covid-19 and Kids’ Wellbeing’, a quarter of children surveyed report feeling more anxious, worried and scared since the pandemic, with older children most affected.

Worries around areas such as social connectedness, physical health and wellbeing, and education have impacted young people’s collective mental health. Anxiety, depression and generalised worry were identified as the three main mental health worries, as young people continue to deal with the fallout of the pandemic. Many are regularly experiencing ‘big’ emotions – fear, anger, loneliness, grief, confusion – so now more than ever, the ability to self-regulate is vital in order to manage these feelings.

How can we support children and young people to self-regulate?
Self-regulation is a crucial skill in equipping children and young people with the tools they need to understand and manage their emotions and, ultimately, their behaviour. However, as we cannot assume that they already know how to self-regulate, one of our roles as professionals is to guide and support them to develop these skills.

1: Regularly practise co-regulation
If we see that an individual is dysregulated or struggling to cope with ‘big’ emotions, our response in the first instance is to co-regulate with them. Co-regulation is when one person helps another to regulate themselves through their own actions. Done well, co-regulation eventually leads to the child or young person understanding how to regulate themselves independently.

We often co-regulate without even knowing it: we talk in soothing tones; we encourage slow, deep breathing; we stroke someone’s arm; we model CALM communication; or we affirm and validate feelings (‘I can see that something has happened here. I wonder whether you feel angry right now?’).

If we consistently and repeatedly co-regulate, modelling different strategies for calming the nervous system, we can both implicitly and explicitly show children and young people how to do this successfully for themselves. We should remember to model and rehearse strategies when individuals are calm and regulated so that they are more easily understood and embedded.

2: Create calm, safe environments
When children and young people struggle with self-regulation, they can quickly become overwhelmed by their thoughts and feelings, which can sometimes lead to distressed behaviours and escalating situations.

As emotionally available adults, we can create environments where individuals feel safe and secure; they understand that we are there to offer support, not to judge or blame. When we see that a child or young person is dysregulated, we can present them with the option of going to a quiet, calm space or room, where they can either co-regulate with us, or use appropriate strategies to calm themselves down. #

By making our environments both emotionally and physically safe, we can provide the right conditions for effective self-regulation.

3: Form strong relationships
Strong relationships are key to all behaviour support. When we know our children and young people well, we are better placed to employ strategies that work well for them as individuals.

For example, if we know that a particular child does not like be touched, then we can avoid physical touch, such as arm stroking, to help them calm down. We can also make sure this information is shared with all staff involved in their care.

Self-regulation looks different for everyone, and what works well for one person, might not be as effective for another. Taking time to forge strong bonds and communication channels increases the chance of us formulating exactly the right strategies for individuals.

4: Involve individuals themselves
We can sometimes, with the best of intentions, assume that we know what would work best for an individual without directly involving them in these conversations. To increase a person’s capacity to self-regulate, we need to introduce and model a variety of different techniques and strategies, allowing them to identify which they think would be most effective for them.

According to Bruce Perry’s ‘Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics’, the brain develops from the ‘bottom’ up: it starts with the brainstem (reptilian system), then the limbic system, and finally the pre-frontal cortex. What this means for self-regulation is that, when we are dysregulated, the brain needs to be soothed from the bottom up.

How can we do this? We can set up sensory circuits to help with sensory processing, increase tolerance levels and regulate emotions. We can take part in patterned, repetitive or rhythmic activities, such as walking, tapping, drumming, chewing, bouncing a ball, or sequencing objects. Involving children, talking to them about what is happening in their brain, and encouraging them to opt for the activity that they find most soothing, hands over agency and allows for an increased sense of control. Over time, they can build a bank of ideas to use when they feel dysregulated.

Self-regulation as a priority for children and young people
There is no doubt that the pandemic has adversely affected children and young people across the world, and many have been left trying to cope with unprecedented feelings of anxiety, stress and uncertainty.
Now more than ever before, they need the skills, knowledge and understanding to self-regulate so that they can successfully manage these feelings, and grow, thrive and fulfil their potential.

Thank you for reading.